I assume you have seen guide for migrating to new relay when federation works: How to migrate your profile to another relay (version 2.33)
Maybe something like this will work:
- Add secondary relay that federates properly to your current profile. Don’t select this relay as primary so you can still message your contacts.
- Create a new separate profile on a well-functioning relay that federates properly. This way you will know that anyone who contacts this profile is on a new relay.
- From this new profile create a “migration” group. Create invite link for this group.
- From your old profile write an instruction for other group members, telling them to:
- Add new relay on the same relay as your new profile.
- Select this new relay as primary.
- Click the invite link to join “migration” group.
- Follow the instruction you just sent yourself: switch your primary relay to the new one, join the “migration” group via invite link.
- Wait for everyone to join the “migration” group.
- Once everyone has joined the “migration” group, you can abandon it and keep chatting in the old group as you will have new addresses of everyone.
- Once you are sure everything works correctly, you can also delete separate profile that was inviting others to migration group.